My Side of the River: A Memoir by Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez

★★★★ ☐ The publisher has provided a copy for review. 
My view won't be popular, let's just say that up front. I'm the child of European immigrants, so this was fascinating reading.

This gripping memoir tells the story of current immigrants, legal and illegal. It shows how arrivals "work the system," not necessarily because they cannot stay in their own country but because they want more = what American citizens have worked hard for.

"Why should someone else be rich? Why should they be privileged to attend good schools? Why not me?" What these newcomers don't realize is that life is not easy for most citizens, either. Much of American wealth is generational - many past immigrants struggled for decades until they became part of the country.

In my parents' generation, you waited - often for years - until you got papers to emigrate and work. Some of your farmily or friends may have been killed while they waited. Many friends never got those papers and stayed behind.

It was not your right to be a citizen; it was considered a great privilege that you worked toward. There was no sense of entitlement. There were no handouts from the government, scholarships, or benefits based on race or language in previous generations. Our parents never taught us not to climb the ladder. The goal was to be good people. If you could, you became part of the new country. Some immigrants were returned to Europe or had to relocate elsewhere, but that was a chance you took.

Fellow immigrants even a few years ahead of you introduced the customs and cultures so you could blend in. You didn't bring your customs with you in a disruptive way. There was no trashing where you lived. No keeping your yard and the street a mess. No playing loud music or disturbing the neighbors.

Our parents had no whisper network to elude the law or run scams. They expected those in similar circumstances to share jobs, benefits, and how to save money honestly. They neither stole from work or shops or thought of dealing drugs at night. If someone broke the law, they were shunned or reported.

If and when you got to your new home, you worked brutal hours and began to save. You did without until you could afford better food or shelter.  There were no expensive parties or extravagant events to impress others. (Weddings and funeral were frugal, catered by friends in a yard or at church.) No one went to restaurants. Mothers sewed the family's clothes with cheap cloth. (No one expected or splurged on designer bags or shoes!) The minute they could afford a down payment, immigrants bought or built a house, not always in a great neighborhood. Then everyone in a family put their earnings together, scrimping to pay off the mortgage. They took care of what they had, repairing before replacing. It took decades for some but they valued becoming citizens.

My parents and their friends worked hard to assimilate into the community. They expected to benefit the city they lived in, not just to milk the system. Those with similar roots met at church or lived near each other.

Gutierrez tells a different story - of Mexicans who bring their culture and expectations to the USA without recognizing the values of the country they enter. They want benefits without assimilation, saving, or maintenance. Theirs is a day to day struggle for survival rather than a planned path of wealth or health. It's not popular to say that I did not gain any sympathy for those who game the system, trash their surroundings, and then whine about the consequences. Who'd want such neighbors?

Gutierrez understood even as a child that those kinds of immigrants would not reap the advantages of being in the USA. They were users who became the used. It was a dead end, frightening and never safe or secure. 

She chose another path for herself and her brother.

Going against most of your culture is difficult and the challenges are many. Gutierrez writes honestly and sometimes resentfully about the mental and physical strain of creating a new life in a new country. I admire her grit and her resourcefulness. I am glad she came to a country where the government provides a hand up and handouts to those willing to work for them.

Is making a new life competitive? Is it hard? Sometimes almost impossible? YES. But Gutierrez shows that it's not impossible. Just like my parents never expected to be wealthy, build Fortune 500 companies, or compete with the well-off, she is in the builder generation. The benefits will be for her kids and those behind her. That's normal. That's usual. That's neither discrimination nor cruelty.

For  Gutierrez to work hard for justice for immigrants, fair pay for fair work (with no theft please!), and to advocate for the poor and oppressed is admirable. 2nd generation immigrants like me can totally cheer her on and hopefully open doors for her and honest immigrants, just as citizens did for our parents. I want her to teach her own children generosity, honesty, helping others, and how to benefit the country they are part of, as my parents did for me.

That said, it's not a right to get into another nation. It's a privilege that will cost you big parts of your history. It will stretch you in the present. And it may earn you and your children a future. You - like Gutierrez - have to decide if it's worth it.